About to get married in Senegal

I sat by the ocean for a few hours this morning, just watching the waves, ships and relax. Thinking and contemplating. What to do? How to do it? I don’t know. I walked back to the hotel, talked with one of the guys at the there (the only one that speaks English) and he invited me to have lunch with the staff. Sure, what’s cooking? Fish and vegetables. Ok, I guess I’m a vegetarian who eats fish while I’m in West Africa. It’s too much fish here.

We had a chat and he was nice, though I couldn’t stop asking myself what he wanted. Was all this just because he was nice?
As we walked down by the ocean he said “you know, you’re a very smart girl and very cool. I like your style. “ I got a feeling of wanting to run away as fast as I can. But he works at my hotel so it’s not like I can hide anyway. “You are very… very very… very, beautiful. I know when I see a person for the first time it’s a good or a bad heart. You have a good heart, you are very kind and honest. I love you, I really do. I really really do love you.”

What was I supposed to say to that? I said but you don’t even know me. “But I know you have a good heart.” he then said. I told him about my husband-to-be and asked him to respect that I am engaged but yet my fiancé is not with me all the time. It is far from the first time I get this, and I am so sick of it. Why can’t all men just respect that some women does not want to stay by a man’s side all the time, that some of us needs freedom to breathe? He said “your fiancé is not here with you, you must be very unhappy with him.” I told him I’m very happy, but that I do not have to be with him all the time but can go away by myself also. I have freedom. “No, you must be unhappy. I can make you happy.” “No, I am already happy. Good bye.” I said but we had another hour of discussion before he accepted that we can be friends, buddies, but nothing else.

Now I’m sitting in my hotel room listening to African revolution by Tiken Jah Fakoly. Half asleep.
I asked a man from Ivory Coast whom I met by the embassy in Rabat what he thought about Tiken jah, if he liked his music. “Yes I do. I am supposed to like it. He sings about my country, about our struggles and our freedom, if I want freedom then I must like his music because that is what he sings.” I guess that is true. What does the melody matter if the message is what you get? “We want a revolution, young people revolution. Intelligent revolution, must be African education.”

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